Last week Matt was in San Francisco for work, and was able to spend time with our best friends’ and their new 6 week old baby. I’m actually visiting next week, and we ended up being able to both meet her, but separately. It was really interesting hearing about his time with her, and his time with a newborn baby in general, almost two years out from when we came home with a newborn. The biggest thing he came back saying is that we thought having a new baby was really hard, but it’s actually much harder having a toddler. He was shocked. First let’s state the obvious that I know you other moms are thinking – of course it’s easier for the man! ha! They aren’t handling postpartum hormones, they aren’t breastfeeding, and it’s just all around easier for men right after the birth. BUT, I also feel like there’s a lot of truth to what he said, and it got me thinking about it.
It’s funny how only 21 months later, I can BARELY remember those first few months. I admit, it is foggy. But, I do look back on pictures from that time and think “wow, I looked so put together,” or “I can’t believe I just relaxed around the house all day.” Babies, while very needy, also sleep a lot! In fact, Hudson used to sleep in his baby swing most of the day and we were able to watch TV shows, cook dinner and spend time together. Now, if we aren’t watching Hudson for a second, a room is destroyed, he could literally kill himself or he’s yelling “up, up, up” to be picked up. The real reason I wrote this post though, is to come back and shed some truth on things I wrote months back. I think that self reflection is a wonderful thing, and honesty is even better, so I wanted to come out and talk about it…
When Hudson was 5-8 months old we traveled A TON, and I wrote this post about how having a baby shouldn’t stop you from your dreams of traveling, seeing the world and living the life you already lived prior to having a baby. I still agree with that, but and it’s a huge BUT I realized that when Hudson hit a certain age, much of what I was able to do with him as a baby was put on hold. We used to grab drinks with Hudson in the solly baby wrap, we used to have him sleep through entire flights, we used to LIVE LIKE BEFORE HE WAS BORN, obviously while still tending to his needs, but life was the way it had previously been. Then something happened. Hudson began to move, and have opinions, and become a person, and our previous life was forced to bend to his needs. I know that it is only a season of life, and as he hits 3-4 and understands a lot more, things will be a bit easier, but I also understand my limitations with having a toddler. It isn’t fair for HIM to be non-stop traveling any longer, and it isn’t fair for him to spend his days dragged to my photoshootz or my meetings (which is why he is in daycare 3 days).
So, my truth to you is that I am so so glad I inspired a lot of you to walk into motherhood without fear that your dreams would diminish. I am happy that I showed you that you can travel with your baby, and you don’t have to be homebound. But I am now telling you that it’s also okay to realize what you CAN’T do, and to know that this is a season of life and this is your kids childhood, so if your days suddenly shift from lounging around the house binging netflix and breastfeeding your baby to spending hours at a park you never thought you’d be at that’s 10 minutes from your home because that is what’s easiest for you, and the least anxiety inducing – well that’s okay too.