38 Week Maternity Photoshoot & Chatting About Confidence

One of the most interesting things about being a blogger is that on most days, you’ll find yourself being used as someone else’s verbal punching bag. When I worked 9-5 in an office, I was left to my own accord, and if I was to take the heat for something that I messed up, it was usually a very professional meeting that involved a write-up, or a discussion on where I went wrong. It’s different as an influencer. Every single photo that I post and every single Story that I share includes feedback, which I love to see and is very welcomed! I enjoy both positive and negative feedback, so long as it is constructive. But, that is sadly not always the case.

I wanted to take this time at the end of my pregnancy to reflect on the good, the bad and the ugly side of being a “content creator” or “influencer” or whatever you want to call it, during a pregnancy. Throughout the time from when I announced my pregnancy at 17 weeks until now, at 38 weeks, I’ve seen every message you can imagine under the sun. I’m not sure if I can speak for everyone when I say that influencers DO READ their DM’s, and that there’s a person on the other side of the screen (me!) but I surely read most of my DM’s on a weekly basis, and see everything that is said to me. In some ways that has made me much more confident and strong, and in other ways it has added a whole layer of self-doubt and self loathing. During this pregnancy I’ve been shamed for exercising, shamed for taking a bath, told I look too small to be in my third trimester, told my belly is huge and I am about to pop, etc. etc. Anything you can imagine people would think about a pregnant person, I’ve probably had said to me. Most of the time the DM’s really do not get to me, but I do think it’s a larger issue that extends far beyond social media. Theres a few main issues that have bugged me during my pregnancy, and especially toward the end:

1. The body commentary. Our bodies are SO personal, and it’s so much nicer to just tell someone they look amazing when they’re pregnant instead of commenting on size!
2. The expectations. I’ve been pregnant both as a blogger, and as a 9-5 employee, and I’ve felt the same way both times – bitter about the lack of understanding in what pregnancy entails! It’s so hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact that women are expected to perform at 100%, even when they’re carrying a child, not sleeping, are emotional, etc. I really love working during pregnancy, and that I am lucky enough to have been able to continue to work up until the very end, but sometimes I just think that women who are pregnant deserve a bit more slack! I think this is more of a societal issue than it is an issue that bloggers see, but I can tell you that I’ve had some job expectations put on me while I was very far along in my pregnancy that I had to simply say “I just can’t make that happen right now” and then I had to feel guilty about it.
3. The “taking a step back“. On the opposite end of the spectrum to #2, instead of understanding that pregnant women will need to slow down, but not STOP EVERYTHING, I felt like I was overlooked on some jobs simply because of being pregnant. I know that this happens a ton – pregnant women are passed up on promotions, raises, etc. just because they’re about to have a baby. I know that as a pregnant woman I cannot perform at 100%, but I also feel sad to feel overlooked in some situations.

As a blogger specifically, so much of our career involves being in photos and our personal image, so it has been interesting to say the least, to be in a body that completely changes. I know that the ride will continue on as I enter into my postpartum journey, and figure out my new normal. Thank you so much for sticking with me during these 40 weeks!! Sea and I snapped these photos before Valentines day, and I wanted them to live on my blog because I just love them so much. I felt so not myself while we were shooting them, but in the end I am glad we’ve taken risks, and took so many photos of my bump!

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