Just like with pregnancy, I am constantly seeing gorgeous images of influencers breastfeeding with the sunset in the background, looking so peaceful and content. For me it was not like that at all, and for that reason I kept pretty quiet about my breastfeeding journey. To be honest, I am not sure how much of it I will share this time around either, because that’s not the main focus of my content on here at all, but I did want to discuss what breastfeeding looked like for Hudson and I, how long I did it for, and how I am preparing for breastfeeding our second baby.
When Hudson was born he latched right away. I luckily never had any issues with getting him to feed, other than that he cluster fed for the first week or so which is completely normal. Once we introduced a binkie, he stopped feeding every hour, and began to sleep a lot better. The problem was more with ME. Just like with pregnancy, I never fell in love with the feeling of breastfeeding. I know it’s good for the baby, and I was committed to doing it, but I felt so guilty about how weird it made me feel about my body, about my detachment from it, and about seeing other perfect images of women enjoying it to the Nth degree while I was here waiting for each feeding to end. Since before I can remember, I was always the girl who wanted to hide having hips or a chest. I grew up with brothers, surrounded by boys, and in some ways I always felt like being feminine was foreign territory for me. When my body completely changed during my pregnancy, it was hard, and then to see the aftermath of my chest during breastfeeding – that was really hard too. The more women I talked to, the more isolated I felt about it – ALL of my friends LOVED “their breastfeeding boobs” and were devastated to know they’d be leaving them once their journey was complete. But I couldn’t wait to be my A-cup again, and to have my body back for myself. I never expected I would feel this way. But in many ways we become used to the way we’re built, and then to live in a totally new and different body can be disorienting. Despite my feelings, I continued with it, until about 3.5 months when Hudson began to sleep worse. It seemed like he wasn’t getting enough milk from me, and Matt and I started to stress out over having absolutely 0 milk stash in the freezer. I didn’t produce a single drop extra other than what he would finish every day, and then he’d still seem hungry. I tried to increase my supply by pumping more and drinking more water, but by 4 months old we inevitably had to introduce formula. My plan was always to breastfeed until 6 months, so I felt let down that I had to stray from my original intentions, but I also felt a lot of relief from the stress of worrying about my milk supply, and from feeling like a foreigner in my own body.
I know some women breastfeed until 3, while others don’t breastfeed at all, whether it be for personal reasons or because their baby never latches, etc. Any way you choose, I know always comes along with SOME kind of guilt, because it’s just what us moms do! I felt SO guilty for my feelings, and I felt equally as guilty ending my breastfeeding journey at 4 months, but this time around I am going to try to let my guilt go, and realize that so much of it is out of our control, and that IF THE BABY IS FED, THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS. Formula was able to feed Hudson just as well as my breastmilk did! He’s so strong now, he hardly ever gets sick and he’s grown so well even though I didn’t breastfeed him for as long as I would have liked to. This time around I am preparing my home for both options, and picking up all of the items I know I need for breastfeeding, as well as ones I may need if I decide to turn to formula. Since I dabbled in both ways, I wanted to put together a collage of some of my must-haves that I realized I needed from my journey last time around. I found that Parent’s Choice was such a great option for quality product at a great value, and I am going to share a few of my favorites from them for breastfeeding below. They also offer formula, which is SUCH a great option, although I am not one to give advice on which formula would work for you, so I left that out of my collage for that reason!
1 – Cute Bibs: Feeding, whether by breast or bottle, can be messy. I found bottle feeding to be a lot more messy, but when I was breastfeeding we bottle-fed Hudson with breast milk after about 3 weeks in. I love these cute bibs!
2 – Breast Milk Storage Bags – These bags are so convenient for storage! I am hoping this time around my supply is a bit up (but totally fine if it is not!) but I’ll have these in the house in case I have an overproduction of milk!
3 – Organic reusable breast pads – With Hudson, I used these the entire time, but I found that they were tough in the beginning when I had more leakage. This time around I am going to use the disposable pads in the beginning, and then transition to these once my supply regulates a bit more.
4 – Stay Dry Nursing Pads – These are SO GREAT for when your milk comes in! I found I had no control over when I would leak in the first few days, and these were such a lifesaver!
5 – Nursing Cover – I am not sure why, but I never used one of these with Hudson. I definitely plan on using one this time for feedings on the go!
6 – Breast Milk Cooler Bag – This is amazing for travel! It’s so hard to bring already pumped milk, or store already made bottles, but this is the perfect way!
7 – Lanolin – This stuff saved my life in the hospital and for the first few weeks! Breastfeeding can be super painful, and I relied so heavily on this for relief!
8 – Formula Dispenser – This makes it so easy to pre-measure formula for bottles while on the go! I relied so heavily on this for Hudson!
*Thanks to Walmart for sponsoring this post, as always all opinions are my own.