I’ve been pretty open about the fact that we’re not thinking about baby #2 yet. To be honest, there’s a lot of reasons why, but one of the main reasons has to do with my own upbringing. I was the first child, and my mom was pregnant with my little brother by the time I was 6 months old. We are very close in age which is incredible, and our youngest brother is also only 3 years younger than me. I love my siblings, but I also see kids who get their parent to themselves until 2/3/4 and think thats more the way I am interested in doing it. Hudson is HUDSON, he’s my world and my love and I want to be able to enjoy him as my biggest love for a bit before I can share that love with someone else. Maybe I am just loyal like that. But I was very interested in finding out all of your stories on how you decided to go for 2 (or to not!) and a lot of people requested I share the responses! I took out names so everyone remains anonymous, but here’s answers!
Was ready for the second when:
When my first felt super easy
We started trying for #2 when my first son was 2.5. Kids are a lot of work! We got to a point where we were getting regular, full nights of sleep and our son was mostly potty trained – and it just felt like the right time and we had room in our lives and the energy for another baby.
I have a 6 year old and a 1 year old, so it took me a while to get there! My first was a terrible napper which doesn’t sound like much of a problem but she was cranky and pretty high maintenance for the early years and I couldn’t ever imagine having another! But then she became super chill and she’s awesome now, and now I have a pretty easy baby and she helps me out!
We were just so in love with our little guy we knew we wanted another little one to love! So when our first was 9 months old we got pregnant with our second.
I was jealous of all my friends getting pregnant so that was a big indicator lol We tried for a long time to get pregnant with number 2, but when we started it was because we wanted them somewhat close in age but not right in top of eachother age wise.
I realized I hadn’t thrown away the clothes and baby gear, and now we’re trying!
When I got more comfortable taking care of my first kid around the age of 18 months, we had a good routine and I pretty much know what his cues for his needs are and I was getting really good at reading him. I didn’t feel like my life was so hectic but more manageable
#1 started getting easy to handle
The moment #1 was out! lol I got pregnant 9 months after, so the age difference is 1.5 years. Not going to lie it is HARD. I thought it was fun to have them close together but now I realize I was looking at it from the kids perspective, it’s much nicer to have them 3 or 4 years apart from a parent’s perspective.
Never felt ready, but went for it anyway:
I never felt ready. I knew I wanted a sibling for my first, I knew the approximate age range I wanted between them, and I waited until I felt confident that my daughter was old enough to walk somewhat cooperatively through my pregnancy with me. Then nature took care of the rest! We started trying after my daughter turned 2, which felt like the right age for us. I’m glad I enjoyed her infant years uninterrupted. I wouldn’t wait for some magical feeling, but I’d think about the practical stuff first and then wait until you’re feeling good about it – if that day ever comes!
You never are all four of mine were happy miracle oopsies .. If I waited til I was ready I wouldn’t have this many kiddos!
No ones ever ready in my opinion. We’re trying for number two, we agree we want them to be close in age so that’s a huge motivation
Well.. I didn’t exactly! We knew we wanted 2, and we knew we didn’t want them to be too far apart in age. But we were both afraid after a first pregnancy and birth that were difficult, and put plans on hold until a few months later.
Still not ready yet, and may never be:
My little guy is 8 months and I’m still in the mindset that one child may be the best fit for us. Those first few months were so tough. The newborn stage wasn’t for me, but I am loving 8 months!
I hope this helped anyone out there thinking about kids to know that you are not alone in your thoughts! I’ve realized through all of your messages that everyone’s experience is SO unique! Some of you wanted another right away because of loving pregnancy and motherhood so much, and others said they thought they would have many kids until seeing how hard just one is. So cheers to wherever you’re at in the journey!
