The other night, as I sat on the floor of my cloffice packaging DEPOP orders with my dad while simultaneously answering DM’s on instagram, I started to read some questions I was responding to out loud. My dad stopped me in my tracks and he was like “WAIT – you answer all of the questions you receive?” He was shocked that someone can ask me where my shoes are from and get an answer in return, and he started listing off the people he has tweeted at only to never hear a response. He told me I am spending my time in the wrong places, basically, and that I am expecting too much of myself by investing hours to write back. I had to think about it for a second. and then for the rest of the week.
Honestly, I enjoy being likable. I’ve always been a pretty neutral person that could hangout with an outspoken, pushy NYer, or a shy and introverted socially awkward person. I can camouflage into any friend group, because I have a multifaceted personality, and I don’t enjoy ruffling feathers. It makes me sad to think that someone takes time out of their day to write to me, only to hear nothing in return. I actually feel REALLY anxious about these kind of things every day, like there is this weight on me. It’s like mom guilt, but I guess instead I consider it social media guilt. I think of all of the comments I don’t respond to, or the messages I don’t get to that then disappear into the abyss of my DM’s. Sometimes someone even writes me again a week or so later, and I see their original unanswered question and feel truly bad that I saw it and never wrote back. I don’t want to think about someone in the world being mad at me for not linking an item, or not writing back to something that has been on their mind.
But, on the other end of that spectrum, I was out to brunch with Matt on Sunday getting flustered over a negative Depop message, and it was all I could focus on at brunch. So in trying to be a people pleaser, I sometimes slowly chip away at pleasing myself, or those closest to me. The time I spend responding to people is always time I am on my phone instead of being in the moment. I know striking up a proper balance is something I have mentioned in this space over and over again, but it is something I still constantly struggle with. What is the proper amount of messages to respond to in a day? Is it something I only make X amount of time for, and then block out of my head? How do I rid myself of the guilt that I am ignoring the very people who allow me to do this incredible job?
I guess I just wanted to wrack your brains on the subject! Let me know your thoughts (AND IF I DON’T RESPOND, KNOW I READ WHAT YOU’VE SAID AND TRULY TRULY APPRECIATE IT!)