I always share monthly Hudson updates with you guys, and try to fill you in on what’s been going on in the world of motherhood, but sometimes I worry that it gets really glossed over on the internet, as things always do on social media. So I wanted to take a moment here on “Personal Wednesday” to address how dang hard it is to be a parent. I am sure so many of you can relate, and maybe it will help you breath a bit easier knowing that so many other parents out there feel the same way as you do (I know it makes me feel so much better when I hear my mom friends say it).
We are in the middle of doing a lot – Moving, working during both of our busy seasons (Fall/ Winter are generally when Matt and I hustle), renovating the house before we move into it, planning a 1st birthday party, and of course trying to live life the happiest we can be, like most other humans out there. But honestly, some weeks it is really hard to be happy. Maybe that isn’t the case for everyone, maybe it is and some of us just can’t admit it (or don’t want to admit it for the world to see) but having kids makes you SO freaking happy and also can totally steal your happiness at the same time. That sounds crazy doesn’t it?? Maybe it has a lot to do with the kind of person you were before you have kids – I have some friends who lived their entire lives just to become parents. They have a traditional family setup where they live on a schedule, take PTO 2 times a year and soak up every second with their kids when they are off. I love the idea of that life, but to be honest that is so far from the life Matt and I both ever lived.
We’re both adventure seekers, and we enjoy living every day totally differently. Without google calendar we’d be lost, we’re constantly on the go and we are always working but also never really working at the same time, if that makes any sense. Having kids forces you to have structure in your universe, it forces one parent or both to adjust their schedules and be a constant for your child and it forces you to basically change your entire universe. I don’t think it matters whether you plan on being the kind of mom who keeps her kids on a regimented schedule or whether you bring your kids everywhere with you and they live their life free-spirited, all kids do eventually require structure of some sort (2 naps a day, food every few hours, and not random meals like I tend to feed myself, real + healthy food) Even on days when you have no plans, any plan is more complicated with your kid, because every stop requires a buckling and unbuckling of a carseat, and if your baby doesn’t walk yet you need to either carry them the entire time or have something to entertain them with. There’s always a time limit on how long you can be in one place or do any one thing.
Motherhood is a beautiful experience, and it’s by far my favorite thing I’ve done in life. But damn guys, it’s hard. And it’s 24/7. And I look at Hudson probably 80% of the day and wonder how I freaking MADE him, and how he could possibly be so freaking cute, and how he is mine. But then the other percentage of the time I’m like omg I just want to watch Netflix for 6 hours and not worry about someones next meal. I’m tired. I can’t even imagine how you guys with multiple children handle it. Am i a baby? Is it easier when they walk? How do you stay happy and fulfilled while still being the best parent you can be?