Pregnancy is weird. I wasn’t ever the kind of person who felt like I had maternal instincts, or like my life would revolve around becoming a mom, but I admit I did wonder how my own story would be written, and how I would look with this belly on me. Would we find out we were expecting out of the blue, or would we plan it? Would it take a while for it to happen, or would it be easy for us? Would I throw up or have a huge telltale sign that pushes me to take a pregnancy test, or would it happen after a missed period? I wondered these things a lot – almost as much as I now wonder what my own labor is going to look like when it happens.
But now that I’ve gone through it, and I know what my story looks like from beginning to end, it’s surprisingly not much like how I thought it would be. It was almost… uneventful. Which is a good thing, I’m sure. I kept working, I continued to blog here and besides the number on the scale, not much really changed. Growing a person feels like it happens sooo slowly, but then suddenly they’re full-term, and it’s like WOAH where did the time go. and then you sit in this weird limbo for a while between having one foot out the door of being pregnant… chatting up new moms, buying clothes that you don’t fit into (yet) but soon, and knowing that you’re on the brink of this huge life change that you knew you had coming for 9 months, but it didn’t quite feel real.
As long as this journey was, and as uncomfortable as it currently is, I understand why moms say they miss being pregnant. This is the end of my time carrying my boy close to my heart, and having him feel my every breath. He squirms when I laugh. He understand when I cry. We’re one right now, and soon we will each be on our own in this world. It’s beautiful, and happy and sad all at the same time. I am so ready to meet him, but I am trying my best to cherish the end of growing this person who I already love so much it’s stupid.
Thank you for coming along with me on this journey, and I can’t wait to share what comes next!