On Leaving

So wow guys, it’s September and this baby could be here in the next few weeks/next month and I am feeling so many feels. I am going to be taking 5 months off of working at my full-time job, which I am so grateful for, but also frightened of the thought. I love to work, I don’t know what it feels like to not have a 40 hour work week + piles of side projects to get done on any given week.

I can remember helping my friend bathe her daughter when she was 3 months old, so tiny and delicate, and tearing up realizing that many women have to leave children that small in daycare to go back to work. How unfair. Are we that uncivilized? Do we put that little emphasis on the minds of the babies who are born into our world. But now, here I am scared shitless of being at home with my little baby, with hours and hours of open-ended time to devote myself to him. I’m so lucky, but so scared to lose myself and the things that make me feel smart/ worthy/ somewhere in life. Maybe once I become a mom, that will make me feel like somebody, but until this point I’ve felt like somebody because of the hours and hours I’ve devoted into my job & blog, staying up-to-date and connected to like-minded adults. Maybe once I see his little tiny face it will all change.

What was it like for you guys? Was the transition weird? I am thinking of taking on a new hobby or something, just to keep my mind working. 🙂




7 comments so far.
  • you look gorgeous! I'm super jealous that you get 5 months off! 5 months! that's really super amazing. I only would get about 3 weeks and if I want to use my vacation time (extra 2 weeks off). I wish we had better laws set in place stating that a women can take anywhere from 3 to 5. I'm lucky that my husband has a great paternity leave though so we would have to take our leaves at different times…we aren't expecting but have been talking about it.


  • You look beautiful, mind yourself!



  • Being a mommy is fulfilling and draining in incomparable ways. A creative mind will always find the route to fulfillment. How exciting for you to find out what's next! Enjoy!

  • Change is so hard! I'm going through a life change right now as I've graduated from high school and have to figure out what I'm doing with my life now. Different than your situation, but similar. 🙂

    Leaving the life I've always known can be scary but it can also be exciting! I know it's often hard to see it that way, but life's an adventure & sometimes amazing things are brought on by change – amazing things that you wouldn't trade your old life for!

    Good luck, Steffy – you're gonna do great!

  • Baby will keep you busy- those 5 months will go like a rocket.

  • Allegra Liu

    I enjoyed the time off with my kids when they were little. I was actually pretty stressed by my job (I'm a veterinarian) and was glad to have the break and focus on my family. Once the kids were older I worked part time and then eventually started my own mobile veterinary service. These five months will fly by and then you will find a new normal with balancing work and family. Enjoy the time off with your baby: it's a really special and exciting time.

  • Hey steffy! My name is sandra and I have been following your blog for a few years =D I think that the United states sets many mothers up for failure; especially mothers who are exclusively breastfeeding. jobs are not required to provide paid maternity leave nor hold a position for longer than 6 weeks. I was a full time teacher and had a second job as a special education service provider in Brooklyn; and neither position offered paid maternity leave. After having my son, who is now 7 months old, I decided to stay home indefinitely; im still exclusively Breastfeeding around the clock. Truthfully, no one out there is going to care for and encourage my son developmentally better than I will. I am many things; a woman, an educator, a student, etc, but right now, I just want to focus on being a mother and nurture my son. It's the most important job I will ever have.